The morning after
by El loopy
Summary: Queen Elizabeth wakes up the morning after 'Beer' and tries to remember what happened. Oneshot. Queenie x Blackadder.


Morning After

"Oooh, my head!" Queen Elizabeth lay in bed with her arm flung back over the pillow, feeling so ill it was as though she were about to die.

"What happened last night?" She tried to sit up but felt the room lurch in time with her stomach and collapsed back down. "I will chop off the head of whoever is responsible for this," she muttered regally. "Nursie? Nursie? Where are you?"

Right on cue the brainless round woman rolled in from next door.

"Dear, dear, my little pumpkin. Had too much milky wilky? Given yourself an upset tumbly?"

Elizabeth summoned up her best '_I'm going to chop your head off'_ glare.

"Shut up Nursie. Do you remember what I was doing last night?"

"Oh yes my plumpkin. I remember it like it was yesterday." Elizabeth didn't have the energy to tell her dim-witted nurse that it _was_ yesterday. "You were going out playing with all those nasty, dirty boys. Probably caught some horrid, dirty boy ickiness."

"Boys?" Elizabeth questioned, the first half of her evening slowly coming back to her. Edmund's house, the cloak, the closet, the drunken louts, the giant multiple pairs of fake breasts…

"Yes, boys my peach. But it's not the first time you went out and played with dirty boys. That one boy pulled your hair once, so you chopped his off. Told the executioner to take it off at the neck you said. Although I don't think…"

"Nursie, shut up."

Nursie grinned inanely and shuffled off, leaving the Queen on her deathbed.

"There was a song about a Goblin," she whispered and shut her eyes. The unfortunate thing about headaches was you couldn't order them to go away with the threat of execution. So there had been Edmund, looking delicious in that black shirt and those tight breeches, and very drunk. He was so relaxed. She loved the witty, sarcastic Edmund at court but the relaxed drunk one seemed quite endearing…

'_Majesty you are the single most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on…even if you can be a simpering but deadly child at times. I blame Melchett for indulging you…'_

'_You say my name?' came the drunken roar from across the room._

'_Just saying what a prat you are Melchy.'_

When he complimented her he meant it. She had a vague idea that as they drank more his comments got more lewd and naughty but she couldn't remember…she sighed and rested against the pillows more comfortably.

Something happened with Edmund…

'_Believe me Majesty you are by far sweeter than the Goblin.'_

She wrinkled her nose. She would have to make allowances for drinking she supposed. It would only be fair. She wasn't quite ready to execute Lord Blackadder just yet. Hoping she would eventually remember what amazingly exciting thing that had happened Elizabeth drifted off to sleep.

Over the course of the day both Nursie and Melchett popped in to see how she was faring. Melchett apologised profusely for any misdemeanours committed and offered her his hangover remedies.

The face the Queen really wanted to see though was the host of last night. Where were his apologises for comparing her to the little Goblin?

She was a hairsbreadth away from summoning him on pain of death when the culprit arrived, fresh faced and delectable…and in her bedroom.

"Majesty," he bowed, "I took the liberty to show myself in."

"Edmund! Oh how fantastic to see you." She shed her delighted face and looked sorrowful. "I am quite dying you know."

"Nonsense Majesty," he replied, standing next to her bed, his fingers brushing the fine sheets next to her hand. "You will feel better shortly. It would be a shame for you to deprive the world of such a pretty nose."

She giggled, already feeling much better.

"You know Edmund, Lord Melchett has already said sorry for all the naughty things he did last night." She looked enquiringly at him. "Are you?"

"And what…" the Blackadder smiled, "naughty things would they be Majesty?" His eyes twinkled mischievously and she gave a small gasp of remembrance.

_Just the two of them in the room, getting ready for her to leave. Blackadder was slightly more steady on his feet, sobering up a little. Melchett waited at the door to escort the Queen home. Everyone else had gone. It was dawn. _

"_Your cloak, Majesty."_

"_Thank you Blackie and thank you for the super party. It was ripping." She giggled and stumbled. He caught her from falling but didn't remove his hand from her waist._

"_You look ravishing," he purred._

_Elizabeth giggled. "Now Edmund, don't be naughty."_

_There was a flash in his eyes and they glittered._

"_Naughty Majesty?" he asked and pulled her close. "I could be worse."_

_He kissed her. Oh! And it was brilliant. His mouth, his hair, his hands, his tongue! She was ecstatic. _

"_Majesty?" came Melchett's faint cry from the hall and Blackadder pulled away. _

"_That was naughty," Edmund whispered, "and if we were alone I would do more."_

_Queenie shivered in delight but was led into the corridor and into Melchett's safe, boring hands. _

"Edmund!" she exclaimed.

He merely gave her an innocent expression.

"The whole evening was a blur majesty. I apologise for saying anything that might have upset your fair self."

"You are forgiven," she told him with a minor tremor in her voice.

Edmund gave her a dashing smile and bowed, preparing to leave.

"If there was anything I said that was not upsetting to hear," he added, "then I meant every word of it." He walked to the door. "Feel better Elizabeth," he added and left.

The Queen lay shocked at the impertinent use of her first name before a second thought occurred.

"He only apologised for what he said…not what he did!" she exclaimed…and smiled. The bubbly feeling in her tummy couldn't let her be mad.


End file.
